by Colleen
Barry, CEO of Gibson Sotheby’s International
Realty
I wish I could
remember who said it. I was listening to a podcast and the
interviewee said that her advice to anyone who comes upon a medical
emergency — a car accident, a heart attack, etc — is to
say to themselves, “This is not my emergency.” She said
that helps to put the situation in perspective so the helper
doesn’t make bad decisions in haste or put themselves in an
even more dangerous situation.
I thought this seemed very wise. I, myself, have come upon several
medical emergencies in my life — car accidents, falls,
seizures. In each case, I tried to remind myself to remain calm so
that I could bring what is needed to the situation.
I learned this 20 years ago from my flight instructor. Vladimir was
a close friend and a brilliant teacher. I didn’t have the
money to earn the hours required to get my pilot’s license.
But, I still had the great joy of adventure in earning several
hours. In a few of the lessons, Vlad would tell me cautionary tales
of pilots who had perished because of panic — in small planes
and in huge commercial jets — they would lose all perspective
when they realized something was wrong. But, in many cases, it
could have been fixed and all souls saved, if they had been able to
remain calm.
“This is not my emergency.” It’s become a mantra
I say when I enter into stressful situations. These could be
situations where conflict is inevitable or already exists. It could
be situations where I am about to disappoint someone… or
myself. It’s a gentle reminder that this moment is not the
end of the world. It’s a bump in the road and one better
faced with all of my wisdom and patience; one where I can have a
better outcome if I’ve not attached myself to the outcome I
fear.
Fear is our friend until it’s not. Fear protects us from
dying needlessly in the frothy waves of an angry ocean, or being
mugged in a dark alleyway. But that same biological response
sometimes muddies clear waters. “This is not my
emergency” clears them again.
Part of this comes with the wisdom of age and experience.
I’ve learned to trust myself — that I will do what I
can to bring about the best possible outcome. That allows me to
remain calm — as long as I remind myself to do so.
“This is not my emergency” is a gift. I just wish I
could remember who gave it to me.